“Questo viaggio mi cambierà la vita” pensava, ma era tutta un’illusione, stava solo scappando dalla realtà, dai genitori: da una vita che non gli apparteneva. Il suo unico desiderio era di essere compreso, ma fermo lì, in quelle sabbie mobili, avvertiva solo un senso di abbandono.

Proveniva da un piccolo paese. Suo padre possedeva la mentalità chiusa tipica del luogo: era freddo, autoritario, sembrava fatto di pietra, privo di sentimenti. Sua madre invece provava qualcosa e riusciva a trasmettergliela, ma era comunque diversa da lui, più ingenua e meno sensibile.

Quel giorno di dicembre decise di partire, lasciando come ultimo ricordo di sé poche semplici parole: “Non ho idea di dove mi porterà questo viaggio, ma ho bisogno di trovare me stesso. Ho paura che non farò mai più ritorno. Non rattristatevi e abbiate a cuore la mia felicità.”

Quelle parole continuavano a risuonargli nella testa impietose, lo colpivano continuamente come un pugile che infierisce sull’avversario, pur avendo la vittoria in pugno. Mentre ripensava alla decisione ormai presa, il treno arrivò con qualche minuto di ritardo.

Salì e prese posto vicino al finestrino, quando all’improvviso la vide.

Non credeva di poter mai provare qualcosa di simile per due occhi estranei, per uno sguardo timido, che tendeva a fissare il vuoto per l’imbarazzo. Ogni parte del suo corpo emanava bellezza e per un attimo egli dimenticò tutto il resto.

Pensò di avvicinarsi a lei, di parlarle o perlomeno salutarla, ma la paura lo paralizzò, avvertì di nuovo intorno a sé le sabbie mobili. Non era pronto a compiere un simile passo, era talmente insicuro, così continuò rassegnato ad osservarla come si ammira un’opera d’arte.

Alla prima fermata ella scese dal treno e Thomas capì di essere ancora in trappola.

Non era ancora arrivato il momento giusto, ma aveva dinanzi a sé il futuro: un paesaggio stupefacente proiettato dal finestrino del treno. Sapeva che prima o poi avrebbe abbandonato quella sensazione di immobilità, ma, in quel momento, la ragione gli suggeriva di non prendere iniziative, mentre una speranza inondava di gioia il suo cuore.

Paola Renna

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