Sprachgefühl

Questa è una lettera d’amore alle lettere d’amore, per chiedere scusa alle mille pagine strappate quando lapenna sera straripavo di cose da dire e non sapevo come fare, e per ringraziare ad una ad una tutte le parole, unica cosa bella che mi resta di certe storie. Ma come fanno gli scrittori veri a dormire?

Me lo chiedevo stanotte sdraiata sul mio letto di punti interrogativi, mentre cercavo di mettere gli accenti sui pensieri giusti e di non lasciarmi fregare per l’ennesima volta da virgole che non fanno che incastrarmi in periodi troppo lunghi e complessi, fin quando un punto non arriva finalmente a salvarmi. Ho perso il conto delle volte in cui, così facendo, mi sono persa nella mia stessa testa, per ritrovarmi alla fine lì, sulla punta della Lingua. Te lo volevo dire, ma non te lo sapevo dire, e allora te l’avrei scritto, se l’avessi saputo scrivere. E nel mentre l’ho solo pensato, io che ho sempre pensato troppo, scritto abbastanza e detto troppo poco.

Ho dovuto cercare un’altra lingua perché ad un certo punto ho avuto l’impressione che la mia non bastasse. Forse un po’ l’ho fatto anche per pudore, per dirtelo e restare col dubbio che non riuscissi a capire, per poi scoprirmi io stessa a parafrasare, a tradurti gli sguardi che non sapevo nascondere dietro le ciglia nere. Ho cercato un’altra lingua per raccontarti della mia Fernweh quella volta che ho avuto voglia di scappare non so bene dove, e per dire a me stessa che ne ero uscita nonostante il Torschlußpanik costante. Ho cercato un’altra lingua per ribellarmi alla mia Vorfreude, perché ero stanca di accontentarmi delle attese e avevo voglia di gioie vere, che poi come un miracolo a primavera, ho visto arrivare: Frühlingsgefühle. Con un’altra lingua ti ho raccontato il bello di sentirsi completi in due, lo Zweisamkeit che ho spiato in silenzio in una stanza bianca d’ospedale, e con la stessa lingua ho provato a farti ridere, esclamando un “Papperlapp!” per farti smettere di pensare, per chiederti a modo mio di tacere, e di restare.

Dicono che sono freddi i tedeschi, che non si baciano per salutarsi, che si abbracciano e accarezzano molto meno di noi… Però, secondo me, con le parole si regalano i brividi.  La mia allora è una lettera d’amore alle parole, e ad una lingua dai suoni aspri e dalla sintassi complicata, una lingua a volte intraducibile, ma in grado di tradurre l’anima. Ne hanno un’altra di parola i tedeschi, che ancora una volta basta da sola a dire tutto ciò che non so dire io: Sprachgefühl.

lettereSprachgefühl è l’attitudine alle lingue straniere. Letteralmente significa “sentimento della lingua, perché studiare una lingua straniera non è solo una questione tecnica. Il punto reale è che se hai tante cose da dire ti servono tanti modi per dirle, ed io ero stanca di strappare pagine e straripare di parole. Il mio modo era una lettera d’amore che non riuscivo a scrivere. Sprachgefühl è la mia lettera d’amore alle lettere d’amore, per dirti a modo mio tutto quello che avevo sulla punta della Lingua e non sapevo dire.

Valentina Comiato

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